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| 24 Jul 2002 |
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Computer Geniuses What is it about people with kids? They'll ask me what I do for a living, and without elaborating I'll say, "I work with computers: websites and that sort of thing". There then invariably follows some long and boastful discourse on the exceptional genius of their son / daughter / nephew. This person is generally at college, and he's "right clever", and he's doing very well and there's nothing he doesn't know about computers. I even get things like, "He's really studied them", as if to imply that I haven't - and boasts that junior has all the latest equipment (what makes them think I don't?). Maybe modesty about your kids is out of fashion, but I do get seriously pissed off with this talk, especially when it's combined with utter ignorance (hell, a man I'd made a CD for the week before, once rushed to tell me that his genius of a neighbour had got himself a CD BURNER!!! How the hell did he think I'd created the CD I'd just given him?). Worst of all was the guy who went on and on (with courteous me smiling faux-attentively) about his friend's son, who among other things was a "MASTER OF ARTS". The second time he started on about this boy I forgot my natural reserve and said, "Well? So am I", which produced some embarrassed and confused mumblings, and a hasty change of subject. So I'm not interested in this talk, OK? Just be pleased if your family's doing fine, but don't force me to listen at length to it. Footnote: This is aimed mainly at strangers, and not at any of my best friends, as they're not like that at all about their families. And maybe that's why they're my best friends! Footnote 2:
I've just remembered the following conversation, from my days with
Pr*ngle
One of those days I'll be found researching the law on justifiable homicide. |
| THIS AND THAT |
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It's been a frustrating old week. Tempted into buying dirt-cheap fishcakes from the supermarket, that were all cake and no fish and tasted about as appealing as cockroach-repellent. Then got slagged by a woman for my fashion-sense (or lack thereof) and got told that one of those days she was going to take me shopping and dress me like the young stud I really am, inside this conservative exterior. Help - I am being kidnapped by someone else's wife! It's been thunder, lightning and rain and rain again this week, too, so the postcards from Montreal, Cyprus, Algarve etc, have just emphasised what an awful place this is to live. I am definitely emigrating when I spot some decent, cheap property. Well done, my new friends BT, who will never again be criticised in this website (well, let's not go totally overboard). I got a new line in this week, and the guy who came up was polite, cheerful, and very professional. He didn't even complain about the difficulty of the job - and I know it was an awkward one because I was speaking to another BT engineer that same evening. So all credit to BT, and if this glowing advert for you can be used in part-payment of my phone bill... The Government has just given us the most staggering example of bullshit even they have ever had the nerve to come out with. Referring to the Gibraltarians' plans for a referendum on their own future, the government complained that a referendum would "short-circuit democracy" (whatever the hell that's supposed to mean). Chilling thing about it is that some people in Westminster, including the current occupant of No 10, actually believe that Democracy = Executive Decisions. Meanwhile the Spanish have been showing their commitment to shared sovereignty of disputed territories by sending 5 warships, a squadron of helicopters, and an invasion force of elite commandos to expel half a dozen Moroccans from an uninhabited rock. Ministry of Silly Swimstrokes Biggest disappointment of today happened 5 minutes ago when I went through to watch The Simpsons, and instead got solo synchronised swimming. Wonder if the sports authorities would let me set up a synchronised falling down drunk team for Australia 2006? Any takers? |
| LANGUAGE WATCH |
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Nobody got the language puzzle, or the prize of three pints in the Waverley Bar. I asked you to identify this language: Jo pense que sou un poc borinots It is actually Catalan, and although I did not ask for the translation I can tell you that it means "I think that you people speak a bit too much". Borinot is the Catalan for Bumble Bee, and from what I can gather the word also used to describe people who make a lot of noise and are annoying because of it. But maybe someone who knows Catalan will correct me if I'm wrong. Informed by Scottish Enterprise Borders today that there are places available on Continuing Professional Development Workshops. Damn - and there was me hoping they might have some courses available. Next time: the language of sociology |
| SMALL CAT SPOTTED ON FARMLAND |
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An
animal suspected of being a domestic cat (felis felis) has
been spotted near Hawick. It was about 18 inches long,
and brown and white with a really cute little face.
Farmer Wattie Douglas said, "This was no ordinary puma - it was much
smaller, and although I couldn't swear to it, I thought it had a
nametag round its neck." Wildlife experts are
sceptical that any domestic cat could co-exist with the indigenous puma
population, but police are taking no chances; they have
been touring the area warning residents not to leave saucers of milk
unattended.